I’m breathing inside a glass partially filled with water. No, really, I am.

June 22, 2009

I had one of my weird dreams last night. In my dream, I don’t remember what I did but I got an old man who lived in a hotel angry. I wanted his big fat smelly pig. So, since the the old man and his pig are both quite frightening, I asked Robin Padilla to ask him not to be mad at me. Well, the old man got so mad that he threw the pig at me and Robin Padilla while we were in a river. The pig landed on my side and turned into a bloody mess upon impact, effectively killing Robin Padilla on the way down. I woke up in cold sweat. Scary shit.

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I have two very exciting things lined up for this week. My main problem is what I’ll be wearing to both of them. As usual though, I won’t blog about them here. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t really blog about what I’m up to here. It’s for pretentious mind stuff.

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I have this amazing superpower. Guess what it’s called! Not Caring. Apathy. With it I maintain my happy little bubble of existence where few things ever go wrong. How? Because I never know when they do!

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Seriously, shit. My nose hurts. It really hurts. Humidity is too low in this office!