Let’s Talk About Mouth Ulcers

I gained a lot of weight while working at the Senate. That’s weird because I don’t remember eating that much while OJT-ing there; it must be the stress or the general discontent. Now I’m back to school I have gone down to 102 lbs at 5′3″, which I believe means that I’m underweight. I think I’m supposed to rejoice but the price to pay is exceptionally painful—mouth ulcers.

According to Google, mouth ulcers or canker sores may be caused by stress, sudden weight loss and vitamin deficiency (among other things). They appear as small lesions in the mouth with whitish centers and are very uncomfortable. They heal on their own, but this can take long and the pain is a real motherfucker. That’s the bottomline: the pain is a goddamn motherfucker. I have eight of these things having a party in my mouth right now and I can tell you this—and I’m sure you’ve already experienced this yourself—it’s not a field trip.

I’ve been gargling with Bactidol for a week already and it doesn’t seem to work. If this goes on until Saturday, I’m going to my pediatrician. I know right. I still go to a pediatrician but that’s because she’s been doctoring me since I was five. She’s a real dear.