Defeated

Right now, I am feeling suffocated from myself. I am strangled by my own ideas, my beliefs, my expectations from myself and everyone around me. I want to run from it, but I don’t know how and I’m not entirely sure if I should. This old quote never fails to remind me, however: strong people don’t run away from, they run away to. 

I’ve been feeling defeated the past few weeks. It might be because of my uninspiring practicum or just the general plainess of my life; it’s hard to tell, when it comes down to it. The reason why this is hitting me hard might be because no one is around to offer me emotional support, assurance, I don’t know. I need someone to listen to me, a good long day of it, when no one cares about the time. I need to listen to someone too. I guess the long and short of it is that I am lonely and I need friends. The virtual world isn’t good enough for this kind of shit anymore.

So what am I doing about it? I’m talking to more people and seeing them too. I’ll call my high school buddies sometime, see what they’re doing with their lives. If you’re not busy, you might want to hang out at some coffee shop or makeup counter and you’ll most probably cheer me up.

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