Strategizing!

Kris has been a bit emotional lately. You can read all about it here, here, and here. I know right! He needs some sense knocked into him. So I was talking to him like, ten minutes ago, and this is how it went:

dlsuchou: you reckon i should still try contacting this, um, knees-melting girl i was talking about too often on my blog lately?
dlsuchou: "knees-melting"?! hahaha
lizette lanuzo: yes you should
lizette lanuzo: like, call her.
lizette lanuzo: be more direct
lizette lanuzo: "hi, i know this sounds weird to you, but i fell in love with you since we first met. i know im not piolo pascual or sam milby (god bless my soul), but i’ve been thinking about you non-stop and it would make me a very happy man if you agree to have dinner with me."
dlsuchou: wow that… that’s too direct!
lizette lanuzo: like that. it might actually work.
lizette lanuzo: but im serious
lizette lanuzo: like, 70% serious.
lizette lanuzo: call her.
lizette lanuzo: if she says no, then, move on with your life.
dlsuchou: ok my palms are getting sweaty even thinking about saying such things
lizette lanuzo: lol.

lizette lanuzo: but like i told you, it might actually work.
lizette lanuzo: subtle stuff, ignored—phail. plan b.
dlsuchou: i will try to call her… err, when i start wishing i could have a heart attack
dlsuchou: ok, joke yun
dlsuchou: i will try to call her
dlsuchou: and there will be small possibility that i’ll say something that direct
dlsuchou: still, i have to see if the conversation goes to the point where confessing something like that wouldn’t sound awkward
lizette lanuzo: well okay. lets strategize!
dlsuchou: and i’d hate to be in the middle of a city of pinoys, looking like a native american
dlsuchou: [hahaha ang corny!]
lizette lanuzo: what the hell.
lizette lanuzo: anyway ganito
                    kris: hi, ms. electrocuting girl.
                    MEG (ms electrocuting girl): hi kris. why did you call?
dlsuchou: MEG?!
                    kris: well, i just want to know how you are (translation: nangangamusta lang)
                    MEG: ohhh. well, im doing fine. (if she doesnt ask, "how about you?" youre in deep shit. nonetheless.)
                    kris: i’m glad to hear that. (lets assume the worst shall we?)
                    MEG:… (uh oh)
                    kris: uh, well, i want to be honest with you.
                    MEG: about what?
                    kris: i know this sounds weird and maybe a bit too old-fashioned for you. but. since i first met you, i thought you were special and i want to know you more.
                    MEG: …
                    kris: it would make me very happy if you agree to have dinner with me whenever youre available.

SCENARIO ONE
MEG: uh, well, im not sure. im kind of busy lately…
kris: (aka Heartbroken Son of a Bitch) oh. okay. im sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable. i don’t want to sound insistent, but i hope you think about this. i really like you and i hope you give me a chance.
MEG: goodnight kris.

SCENARIO TWO
MEG: dinner sounds great. i’ll let you know when i can go out. remind me again?
kris: (omgwtfbbq) yay, that’s cool! i’ll keep in touch. (knees melt, elbow is electrocuted)
MEG: goodnight kris.

SCENARIO THREE
MEG: i have to be honest with you. you’re not really the sort of guy i’m looking for.
kris: (face melts) i see.
MEG: i’m really sorry kris…you’re a nice guy, but a. i like someone else already b. youre not really my type.
kris: okay. well, thanks for the time. i hope we’re still okay.
MEG: of course. goodnight kris.

lizette lanuzo: FINIS
dlsuchou: either way, a closure is called for.
dlsuchou: so i can stop agonizing
dlsuchou: diba? i’m going to print that transcript!