Not Even Pleading Can Save Us

January 15, 2008

More often than not, we find ourselves trapped in the strict routine we call our lives. We wake up, go to work or school and then go home to bed. We dress according to the prevailing trend, read what everybody else reads, laugh what everybody else laughs at and condemn what everybody else condemns. When we do what other people do, it gives us a sense of accomplishment, of belonging. And most of us don't bother to look farther than that.

 

Right now, I feel restless. I want to do something I've never done before (without being disowned by my parents of course). I want to stow away to China, maybe, or quit school like a good girl and be a starving freelance writer. I don't like my life anymore. Last year, I probably wanted the exact same life I'm living right now for my 2007 self, and now I have it? It's not special anymore. I think it's time to move on and want something else, hence the restlessness.  

 

Call me emo if that makes you happy. For some reason the term is understood to be an insult, but I refuse to play the same language game. I'm feeling down and increasingly restless for the past few days. I don't understand why you or anybody else should have the right to trivialize my misery under a supposedly degrading label, as if being miserable is a state you have never been, has been, or will ever be in. 


Posted by lizette at 9:16 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

So the feeling of restlessness and depression comes with the season?

Actually feeling the same, for different reasons, but still feeling the same.

We probably had too much happy during the holidays that we now have a down time :P

Posted by Ting at January 17, 2008, 12:19 am

online at this ungodly hour huh? maybe depression is indeed a seasonal thing. and you know what Ponsaran said the other day, when you were absent? he said that it is ironic that UP Manila, as a health sciences campus, has a lot of clinically depressed students. make of that what you will.

Posted by lizette at January 17, 2008, 12:34 am

It happens. Why not take the chance? At least in the subtlest of ways, I mean…

Posted by Niko at January 17, 2008, 8:17 am

Could probably be the lack of culture, of FUN, in the campus. We’re all stuck in our books and readings and stuff.

Posted by Ting at January 17, 2008, 1:33 pm

no, i don’t think so. it’s easy to have a fun life, so long as its not the life you’ve been living for some time already.

Posted by lizette at January 17, 2008, 1:57 pm

Culture’s defined differently everywhere. :|

Posted by Niko at January 17, 2008, 11:34 pm