Enumerating

I can’t write anything worth the effort lately. It’s probably the flu compounded by the anxiety of an upcoming test in Statistics this Saturday (ugh, what can be more depressing than the words "flu", "Statistics", and "Saturday" in a sentence?). I’m also distracted as of late. This is me prepping myself up for the next two months of solid school work—something bad has to happen first before I get myself to focus. In short: I’m fucked up.

Let me enumerate the things that are wrong with my life lately. Before that, I must warn you that this short enumeration will show you how shallow and stupid I am. Well, I warned you.

 
(more…)

After All The Second Thoughts and Emo Fits

Everything is going so fast lately. I’ll be turning twenty in two weeks. In two months I’ll be doing my practicum either (hopefully) in the Senate or the Department of Foreign Affairs. I now have a part-time job which should pay enough for me to buy a laptop which, by the way, I don’t want or need. In three months, Marco and I will be celebrating our first anniversary together. And the most important and surprising of all—I’ll be graduating in a year.

 
(more…)

Loser Tips

Always wondered why you never get the girl you like? Why when you actually get close, it turns out that she likes someone else and that if she likes you for anything, it’s for listening to her rants? Classic. I’m sure that this sort of thing has happened to you before and will probably happen again if you don’t stop being a fucking loser.

Here’s a list of what girls dig and what they don’t.

 
(more…)

The Sucky Secret

The hype for "The Secret" has gotten to me so I downloaded the film this morning. I watched less than a third of it just a while ago before promptly getting sick of the whole juju-talk. "The Secret" is basically this: if you think about what you want hard enough, you’ll get it. The whole universe will conspire to give you whatever you want, Cuelho style, be it cars, soulmates, laptops, health—and with the way they were going at it—maybe immortality. If you happen to want a holocaust too, Mistress Cosmos will step right up on your doorstep and give you a holocaust. That’s how it works according to "the most powerful law in the universe", which is the Law of Attraction.

I can understand why The (so-called) Secret is so popular today. It encourages the fast, materialistic lifestyles which are valued by most people nowadays and it kills the nasty word "sacrifice" out of our vocabularies. The Law of Attraction shall give you everything your heart desires. Everything. Don’t you have a problem with that? I do. Because not everything you want is something I want. For example, you might badly want me dead. But I don’t want to be dead. For whom will the Law of Attraction work? The one who wants the most? What happens when two humans want opposite things exactly as much as the other?

 
(more…)

Not Even Pleading Can Save Us

More often than not, we find ourselves trapped in the strict routine we call our lives. We wake up, go to work or school and then go home to bed. We dress according to the prevailing trend, read what everybody else reads, laugh what everybody else laughs at and condemn what everybody else condemns. When we do what other people do, it gives us a sense of accomplishment, of belonging. And most of us don't bother to look farther than that.

 
(more…)

A Song I Really Like

"Patterns And How They Change The Visible World" (Daphne Loves Derby)

You're either blessed when you're dead or when we're young,
And from you I learned in between those years there is nothing left to see.
So hide all your blessings, and keep 'em somewhere safe,
So they don't break apart.

Is there a reason why the rain only falls on your head?
It just doesn't seem right, at all.

Trash

I like things. They don't move around unless you pick them up. They shut up when you tell them to and even when you don't. This means that they don't shout or scream at you, and they can never tell you what to do. They also don't go to work, or much of anywhere, so they will be with you forever and ever until you accidentally spill grape juice on them. Ahh, things. I like things very much.

I have lots of books, lots of clothes, lots of shoes, lots of makeup, lots of stuff. But I don't have a lot of people. You know, there's a new wing at Robinson's Manila (just across the street from my campus) called Midtown. It has a lot of awesome restaurants and even al fresco dining above ground level! How cool is that? There are nice new tables under nifty white umbrellas littered outside. It all looks so neat, I'd love to go there. The College of Arts and Sciences in the University of the Philippines Manila has 1,700 students. But I don't know anyone who I can ask to eat there without a considerable amount of awkwardness. Which translates to: I don't have real, live friends.

 
(more…)

Bored, New Pictures, Still Fat, No Words For It

 
(more…)

Mortified

I have a bad memory. I'm the sort of person who looks for her glasses for fifteen minutes before she realizes that the missing glasses are in fact resting on her nose. I'm the sort of person who doesn't pay a lot of attention to the things that deserve it—it might even sound as if I'm proud of these things. I used to, but being one month away from twenty means that bad memory has stopped being an effective excuse for incompetence a long time ago. I know it should never be, but believe me, it was. It was.

So you must understand that asking me to review the past year is too much. Oh, I can, but it would take too much effort better spent on playing, reading, or watching TV shows. So this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to randomly quote posts I've written the past year. Ready? I'm not.

 
(more…)