A Depressing Decision
August 30, 2007Right now, I want to stop school. Political science is just not my thing. Sure I'm interested in hearing about European politics, the obsolescence of capitalism, the Indonesian socio-political culture, and how half-baked taxes are the worst things you can do to a country—sure I'm interested. I'm interested in a lazy, heavy-lidded way, like how cats regard a crawling salagubang or how drunk people regard their vomit on the car floor. I'm interested, but right now I am not willing to spend another goddamned year and a half studying political bullshit as if I'll remember it after graduation. Because I won't.
It's frustrating. I want to stop college, but that decision will make my parents very, very sad. Education is an important advantage to anyone these days, that much I can't deny; neither can I deny that it's their most important and lasting gift to me. Maybe going through this mental drudgery everyday will pay off someday, but right now? I'm just a whole bunch of tired and bored with this gig. The only things that keep me going are my parents' expectations of me and the vision of their happy and proud faces when I get my diploma.
Should I shift? The answer should be yes. The problem is, I don't want to do another couple of years. I can take comparative literature, fine arts, philosophy, or maybe fashion design, but I don't want to, now that I'm this near to getting my plastic sash in a year or so. I guess I'm sticking with political science like a limatig with no cigarette smoke for miles.
Whatever. This depressing decision still doesn't stop me from wishing I'm working in a decent office getting decent pay right now. It doesn't stop me from wishing that everyone should just go to hell and let me be a starving artiste in the streets of Belgium. I don't mind being a basket-maker in Polynesia, a cobbler in Copenhagen, a septic tank cleaner in New York, heck, maybe even go to Nepal and raise llamas if that's what it takes! So long as I'm not where I am now—which is, nowhere—and so long as I'm not doing what I'm doing now—-which is, nothing..
Previous Comments
As much as it may seem that you don’t like your course - recalling our conversations about it - that first choice doesn’t have to limit you to some pigeonholed job choice, whatever that means. All that I’m saying is there are a lot of choices out there once you do decide to get that diploma and welcome yourself to the world.
Or you can do the other (dreaded?) option of taking two more years and look like you’re really dead serious with your studies, end up in creative writing and becoming the next columnist with a cult following…
Posted by Niko at August 31, 2007, 9:36 amlolz.. take care lage
—
siguro..kumuha ka ng martilyo..
kahit blurry pa ang mga bagay na gusto mo, kailangan mo,
pinakamahalaga sa ngayon alam mo ang mga bagay na ayaw mong mangyari sa iyo or mga bagay na di mo kailangan po.
at least habang dumadating sa iyo ang mga pagkakataon, you can decide based on what you don’t need not on what you need for a moment.
you’re a hellion ready to overthrow the world alam mo ba yun.. but being a hellion can be overwhelming too..sigh.
(gusto ko sana mag advice about patience kaso madilim ngayon baka kumidlat tamaan ang ipokrito sa akin.. pero masaya mag-alaga ng llama…tapos ibebenta mo sya as household pet.)
Posted by dave at August 31, 2007, 12:28 pmhala you hate pala bad grammar..wahhh!!
sencia na sa magulong text ko
Posted by dave at August 31, 2007, 12:35 pmAre you kidding? Political Science is a wonderful course!
It`s the second best field of study, next to Diplomacy. Hahaha. Now even that is debatable.
Of course there are times when people will feel bored.
Well it wasn`t boredom that made me stop College last year. It`s more complicated. But when I stopped schooling last year, my mood about College was next to what you are feeling now.
It was a good thing I stopped for a while, though. For it made me realize how I love my course. And how I love to debate and spend time with great people.
See, I was kind of wrong. Teaching English to Brazillians and Japanese or selling computers and plasma TVs to Caucasian tourists isn`t really as excited as I thought.
Heck, I can`t wait to get back to school next semester!
Posted by J at August 31, 2007, 4:41 pmQuit or shift. Do it. It’s now or never. I was once a Pol Sci student because i thought i could be Plato or something. I was so wrong so i quit.
Posted by Daniel Ted at August 31, 2007, 6:59 pmsaturn, searching is not the same as getting there. whatever that means.
niko, i’m sure you’ve read my blogspot post about this, some time back. do refer to the one where i said that my mom graduated with a MassComm degree and is now a bank manager.
dave, Taglish has no grammatical format, therefore when using it, it is nigh impossible for you to be grammatically incorrect.
J, maybe i do need to stop. but if i get to love stopping hard enough, i might not want to come back as much as you do.
Daniel Ted, the difference between us (and the reason why i am not quitting now) is that i had no grand dreams about being the next Plato (who by the way is someone who’d have died by lynching if feminists lived during his time). i just wanted a course with minimum math.
Posted by lizette at August 31, 2007, 10:52 pmAs long as your indifferent interest in your course doesnt stop you or hinder you from finishing your Thesis, then by all means, stay where you are.
I took up International Politics, right? I loved everything that had to do with my major. Of course, I started out in the Development Studies track, realized I wasnt as messianic as I thought, shifted to the IP track come my senior year (I’m stupid, I know– a decision that caused me more time and my mom, more money) and then realized that what I really wanted to do was…well, marry an ambassador. But that’s another story. I was in my senior year and kicking myself in the balls for not taking up something that interested me in a…an explosive let’s-take-it-to-the-next-level kind of way.
Bleargh.
Posted by Helga at August 31, 2007, 11:13 pmYou wanted a course with minimum math.
hahaha. I hate math as well.
whoever invented math may rot now in hell.
Posted by J at September 1, 2007, 9:00 amLadies and gentlemen, especially to the members of the Lizette Lanuzo fan club - Lizette has answered her own question. Or that’s what I think you just did.
Posted by Niko at September 1, 2007, 2:51 pmBeing in the middle of nowhere and doing nothing is something I’m accustomed to. Take care not to stay too long or you’ll get stuck in it, like me. Wait, you won’t. You’re doing something to deal with it, I’m not.
helga, i think ill finish my thesis alright. once i figure out what it’s about yay!
J, i have felt the exact same sentiments when i got a crunchy, resounding singko in Math 11.
niko, what fans club? i wouldn’t presume.
ting, whatever you say, were in the exact same boat. why don’t we run away and work our ass off as sales people in a book store?
dave, no sweat. ^_^
Posted by lizette at September 2, 2007, 1:18 pmWho likes Political Science anyway? Half of the people I know don’t like it. Except Reigh and some other people I fail to remember. And we don’t have a thesis BTW!! New curriculum!! Yeysssz!
Posted by Doms at September 2, 2007, 2:09 pmoh, that research paper? it’s just a nicer way of saying that we will spend several sleepless nights reading horrible, mildew-smelling books about our topic and wondering whether you got the comma in the citation right. It’s another way of saying that we will go about interviewing stuffy snotty people in stuffy snotty government offices trying to get at a truth which maybe they will not divulge.
thesis.
oh, the other people i know who likes Political Science is Robert. and Reighben plans to take up ComSci in La Salle after graduation, because he’s disillusioned with PolSci already. smart she-man, Reighben.
Posted by lizette at September 2, 2007, 2:15 pmI actually wonder about what else there is to create a thesis out, especially for those taking up politics, psychology or diplomatic relations.
Posted by Niko at September 2, 2007, 3:07 pmhow about, the power struggle regarding two aircon vents in the three-seater side of the bus? i have always wanted to do a paper on that.
Posted by lizette at September 2, 2007, 3:08 pmReighben did what no idealistic PolSci student should have done: he went to a Job Fair.
Anyway, about the running away and stuff? Why not?
the idea is fantastically plausible, Ting, dear, but you won’t ever marry me.
he went to a job fair? what he get?
Posted by lizette at September 2, 2007, 9:03 pmHe got depressed since nobody was looking for PolSci Graduates
Posted by Ting at September 4, 2007, 11:55 amhey, this girl came along the today and she was looking for writers. reighben was heartened that (a bit of) the job description looked for polsci graduates. HAH!
Posted by lizette at September 4, 2007, 11:15 pmDoms, I LOVE political science
Posted by J at September 5, 2007, 6:13 pmBut I don’t know you, though now I do. Good for you for knowing your “calling”! Hehehehe.
Anywhos, Reigh should just be a manwhore. I’ll pay him! Ya know. . .for frustration’s sake. XP
Eeeek! Joke only. Bad mental image!
Posted by Doms at September 7, 2007, 6:40 amI feel the same way, although I just have a sem left in my academic life. Goodluck with your life! I hope that you’ll be able to take the RIGHT path. God bless!
Posted by Louis at September 18, 2007, 10:14 pmSearch
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were sorta in da same boat liz…for instance I took a course on Japanese History in university (that I so loved) and still got a lowww grade, but still Im like I wanna know more…but hey, as long as ur doing something that u can enjoi…and dat u can get da most outta it…ul get there..dont rush, keep searchin’! ^^
Posted by saturn at August 31, 2007, 6:58 am