Stupid Filler You’ll Be Well Off Not To Read
May 7, 2007 I don't feel like blogging today, or for the past few days. My writing juices just ran out, like that, or maybe I simply got lazy as I am wont to do. Anyway I've been living in some sort of incoherent haze lately and I don't know how I'm getting by at all. I'm sure I'm fine as there are no indications of being unfine (crying for inexplicable reasons during the most unexpected times, texting random people out of utter boredom, calling Ade while drunk on coffee just to whine for half an hour or so), but I dunno why, I dunno what the hell for. I'm just getting by. Passionless. Dumbed down by cynicism and hypocrisy.
So I said I was living in a haze, but how the hell did I realize that? Stupid people living in stupid hazes should not realize they're doing so or they wouldn't be living in a haze at all! Well. I got out of the stupor just some hours ago as I went out to lunch, alone. I was just tralala-ing along F. Ortigas Jr, about to cross the street to a nearby Wendy's to get my supply of lunch leaves. Well to make the short story even shorter I almost got run over by a jeep. See I told you. One of these days I'll die from some horrible vehicular accident and no one, no fucking one, can do anything about it. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going at all. I remember thinking, though, how the sun was weak and for once not as scorching as it usually is. Stupid. What a nice good bye thought. No, seriously. It is.
So I got my salad right, and sat down to eat. I was trying to get the dressing out of the shallow cup with a fork. The air conditioning was not as cool so a stand fan was turned on to maximum setting. Well. The fork slipped as I was scraping the bottom of the damned cup and the fun thing was that the dressing sprayed all over me, aided by the fan blowing directly in front of me. I shot a beseeching look upwards and proceeded to calmly wipe the gunk off my green racerback top and yellow cardigan. That was the point where everything just snapped and…just snapped. Nothing happened after.
I have this headache I've been nursing since this morning. I'm a bit tired from all this staring at this monitor the whole day. I'm pumping in some emo songs to my ears now and I don't think that they're helping at all. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do, mainly because I really don't want anything I don't already have. Well except a boyfriend—but I don't really need one, and that's a different story altogether. This sucks you know. Like being forever stuck in a truly butt-numbing traffic jam while checking the time every five minutes to find out if you're late already. And then realize, eternally, that you're not—simply because you have no destination in the first place.
It's 5 pm. I go now and meet someone and maybe hope that I don't smell like mayonnaise.
Previous Comments
Lol, this happened to me too. I can’t blog, I can’t do my usual tasks online and there are plenty of stuff I don’t want to do but I don’t have any idea on what I wanted to do.
After all, I was just thinking of love. I even thought that I might totally stop writing if I found the right one. Oh well, I better end this before I turn emo. Haha
Posted by Darwin at May 7, 2007, 7:43 pmawww… hope tomorrow’s going to be a better day for you dear.
Posted by aMgiNe at May 7, 2007, 8:41 pmHi Liz! Must be the moon or something. There are a lot of us feeling emo this very day too. I hope tomorrow we’ll be ok.
Posted by Sexy Nomad at May 7, 2007, 11:59 pmA lot of people are feeling utterly emo lately. I wonder what’s in the air.
Posted by Ade at May 8, 2007, 5:10 amIf there’s one thing I realize living on my own, it’s that things have a funny way of working themselves out - regardless of how fucked up the situation may seem.
I’ve been in many emo episodes myself (yes it even resulted to stupette cutting) and these things pass.
Just do what Mikey does and put on a good sad song and cry yourself to sleep while devouring a whole oversized pack of cheetos. Tomorrow you’ll feel better and laugh at why you were so stupettely emo in the first place - or hang yourself.
Either way it would have worked itself out.
Oh, and you smelled like pickles, not mayonnaise.
Posted by Marco, the site guy at May 8, 2007, 7:00 ami hope today is a better day for you! forget about yesterday..stay happy =)
Posted by maryjoan at May 8, 2007, 11:25 amMay today be much better for you Lizzy.
By the way, would you by any chance been in the coffee bean and tea leaf yesterday at 5?
Posted by Virus at May 8, 2007, 12:14 pmIsn’t that so me?
And you’d consider the fact I’m the ninth to post a comment. We’ve read this despite your warning.
Posted by Niko at May 8, 2007, 1:27 pmVirus: i in fact was. the girl in the yellow cardigan. yes. you were there? you should’ve said hi dude.
niko: no one ever listens to me.
not that i mind.
i love it when i get intelligent comments. thanks people.
Posted by lizette at May 8, 2007, 1:47 pmBe careful always.
I also experience those days wherein i feel so lazy in doing anything… and my mind is not working… I cannot even compose a single simple sentence… And i sometimes feel so freaking stupid and careless in the things that i do.
Posted by jho at May 8, 2007, 4:54 pmHi Liz.. BTW thanks for visiting my blog although I don’t update that often hehe
Regarding the things that happened to you, Im sure you got fucked up! I usually do lol pero sometimes things just wont go your way and you have to accept it :p (take it from me.. a very impatient person hahaha)
And sa destination mo.. I think you’re too young to rush.. Take it easy.. I’m sure there are many doors just waiting for the right time will open for you. Actually, ganun din ako before I used to think na I have everything, life gets so boring that I really don’t know what to do.. pero ako when I started my OJT its like whoa! (especially when I was exposed to the corporate stuff) now thats something I want to do.. and it gave me somethings to ponder and to do for a couple more years like maybe take MA after graduation and stuff like that.. I’m sure that time will come for you as well and I feel that you wil have a bright future ahead of you. Chill! You’re still young! Madami pang mangyayari sa buhay mo so dont rush
well if it helps, i got run over by a car once. i didnt die.
Posted by paolomendoza at May 8, 2007, 6:21 pmLiz,
Ah yes, it was you indeed. Wasn’t sure though. Wanted to approach you and ask “Hey aren’t you that hot chick who lives behind the shrubbery”? But I guess, I was not in the mood to get slapped. Hehehe. Don’t worry, occasionally, I get lost in ortigas center and when that happens, I will approach you and come up with a totally disgusting pick up line that is sure to let you know that you’ve just been infected by the virus.
It’s just one of those days. May mga pagkakataon talagang tila pinagtitripan na lang tayo ng pagkakataon. Parang adik. May katawagan nga ako diyan e: “Bugnutin Cycle.”
Ibayong ingat. At 3-in-1 coffee.
Ang iyong kaibigan,
Jake Who Shouldn’t Really Be Miserable Because Lizette Wants His Metabolism Mailed To Her Via UPS.
PS: Palit tayo ng bituka. Isang araw lang.
Posted by Jake The Miserable at May 8, 2007, 6:39 pmHey! Hahahhaahaha buo tayo squad ah! Nakita ko dito di Pichay, may inabot akong sulat isa sa mga kasamahan niya, sinulat ko dun yung pangarap ko, ewan ko lang kung binigay nun! HAHAHA
Posted by Kirsty at May 8, 2007, 7:42 pmI’ve been feeling a bit emo lately as well, I wonder why
Miss liz, girls like you shouldn’t have trouble finding guys. I’m sure you have more than a few admirers already and if you don’t like any of them, more will come …in the meantime, find a more exciting hobby
I’m good at this no? anytime you need an ego boost, just pm me hehe
Hahaha! I can also die crossing the street absentmindedly. But I’d rather die with all my love ones around me. Not that type where people would rummage your stuff and see for clues as to who to contact and break the news that I’m already dead! Hahahaha. What a morbid thought.
Anyway, thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving “footprints” . I happen to like your posts here. Keep on blogging!
Posted by Scarlett at May 9, 2007, 11:01 amSearch
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Get out and get laid
j/k.
Seriously, there will be times like that. I remember wanting to write a song, a poem or a story but nothing popped out of this vice-infested brain.
Then when you’re in a middle of a meeting or beating a deadline, ka-ching! A guitar riff on your head!
And now my stomach growled, have to go gome
Posted by Boy Dapa at May 7, 2007, 6:42 pm